From: Bernadette Schwerdt
The Copywriting Coach
Today’s topic: If “We” Is The First Word On Your Website, You’re In Trouble. Here’s Why.

Hi there,

One of the best tips I can give you when writing copy is to stay away from the word ‘We’ and replace it with the word ‘You’ instead. 

What do I mean? Let me explain.

Most copy begins with:

“We here at Print On Demand give all our customers 10% off their first order and $50 off their second order. We work 24 / 7 and deliver to your home too – for free.”

Now there are some great offers in there but they’ve used ‘We’ instead of ‘You’ which fails to tell the customer what’s in it for them and makes for a boring script.

How much better would it be if you said:

“When you use Print On Demand you not only get 10% off your first order but you get $50 off your second as well! 

You can relax too because you’ll receive your order the very next day and you’ll have it delivered to you personally, completely free of charge! 

You’ll save time and money when you use Print On Demand."

Doesn’t that sound better?

PS: There are nine ‘You’ words in there and a few ‘Yours’ as well. Compare that with just one ‘You’ in the example above. 

As you can see, I’ve not only swapped the We’s with You’s but focused on the benefits, told them what’s in it for them and told them why that’s good.

To find out how professional copywriters get attention and keep the reader engaged so they read every word, look out for my next email.

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Kind regards,

Bernadette Schwerdt
The Copywriting Coach
Follow me on Twitter: copyschool

Australian School of Copywriting
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Victoria, Australia 3032
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